Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
