I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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