I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
