I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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