it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
