Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
