So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
