i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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