I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
