I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
