Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He shit in the fireplace
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