How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize