I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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