come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
