In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
