Heybabeimwearingurpanties
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Boobs speak an international language.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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