My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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