shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
