TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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