And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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