Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just high enough for therapy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
