we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
