Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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