Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
