I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
