you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
