only you would photoshop your dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize