She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
