you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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