...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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