Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
