He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
