i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
