omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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