Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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