some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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