I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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