I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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