these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
