Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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