I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
