All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
