My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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