Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
