Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
