Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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