I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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