Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
vagina is talking i cant
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
