I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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