my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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