Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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