everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
