he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
