You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
