just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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