he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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