I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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