Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
