Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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