his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just pee around me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
