actually, I'm a sock model
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
