Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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