I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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