I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
