3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
