i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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